let God change your life

Last night I sent a text to a friend..."Let God change your life".  I say this as I am experiencing Him change mine.  On Sunday, I attended the home church God lead me to for the second time.  And am still chewing on what transpired.  I ended up in the middle of the room being prayed over.  How did this happen?  I started talking.
There was even a time in the midst of my mouth moving that I remember thinking, "what am I saying right now?  What am I doing?  This doesn't feel like me."  Yes, we all know I can talk, however, in a group of strangers...my voice is generally disabled.  Especially when confessing the groanings of my heart.  But something compelled me to speak without having the words to fully express, and without trying to sound polished or "spiritual" or confident and sure or funny and clever.  I was compelled to be vulnerable before 10 adults and 3 kids.  I was compelled to let them 'see' me.  I was compelled to make sure I didn't carry with me, into this group of brothers and sisters in Christ, any masks.  And I saw myself sitting there, seeing everyone looking at me and talking to me and sharing with me their words of encouragement and wondered, "why does everyone feel they need to encourage me?"  And in the next thought I received a word from the Lord, "just listen". And I did...
I listened as Cully reminded me of the joy it is to share the beauty of Christ with people and how experiencing the presence of God is truly a joy that is unspeakable but we can't help but express it in our countenance. 
I listened as Mike shared about the growth that comes from being uncomfortable.  And the encouragement to endure through the wilderness seasons.
I listened as host-Mike reminded me of how empty my life was when trying to live the life the world expects from us and not living the life God has prepared for us.  As Heather and Charlene shared their same discomforts when confronted with the question, "what have you been up to these past _____ years?"  And our response looks nothing like that of our worldly counterparts...and the ecouragement from everyone in that room saying, "its okay".  And being reminded and assured and comforted in the truth that it is far more valuable to grow in the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord, than to grow in the successes of this world.
I listened as Lee read from Hebrews, "Moses, by faith, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharoah's daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for He looked to the reward."  And continuing on in Hebrews, reading of the cloud of witnesses before us who by faith and for faith in the great reward of eternal life with the living God, "were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword.  They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented - of whom the world was not worthy."
I listened as Kevin encouraged from the book of John, "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.  This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me, I should lose nothing, but should raise it up the last day.  And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day."
I listened as Diana reminded me of the Love of Christ.  And to receive that love and respond to that love.  To be vulnerable to that love as it is poured out from above and through His people...of whom I am counted.
I am still listening.